Sandpaper for the Soul

Reflecting Christlikeness through our words.

by Kathleen Barrett

What do your words say about you? What does God hear?

When we were four or five years old, our words might have been precocious, profound, or silly but were endearing to all.

As we grew, however, our words took on more weight. We expressed both graceful words at times and critical ones at other times.

What we say now, indeed, matters and reveals who we are on the inside (Luke 6:45). Words are God’s idea because He is the author of language. Nonetheless, His pure and holy character is such that He will not tolerate unkind, crude, or careless talk.

Discipleship

What do words have to do with God’s mission and the ministry He has called each of us to carry on?

First John 1:3 helps us here. It says that God the Father’s mission was the Word of life, Christ Jesus: “We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ.” God’s mission is fellowship with His creation, and His ministry makes that possible by reconciling sinners to Himself.

So the mission begins with God’s love, grace, and peace toward us — a personal, loving relationship. The ministry continues in discipleship. As we work out our own salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12), we understand how important our words are to God.

Spiritual and emotional growth must take place in us to reflect the character of God through what we say. James helps us see this by pointing out the discrepancy between our words and the Word: “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. . . . My brothers and sisters, this should not be” (3:9, 10).

This lesson should help us realize that we need varying degrees of sandpaper in our communication skills — correction from the Holy Spirit through God’s Word. It is not only vulgar words blurted out (requiring heavy grit sandpaper), but words that discourage or dishearten those closest to us (requiring finer grit sandpaper). Unlike Christ, we demean others by holding grudges and then lashing out in anger.

Salvation and beyond

I know this to be true for me. Years ago, I stood at the kitchen sink washing dishes after one unpleasant family dinner. I sensed an impression from the Holy Spirit: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger” (Ephesians 4:31).

This was a “sandpaper” moment for me. I was doing nothing to reflect the love of God through my unkind words, and, in the process, made a loved one sink deeper into the depths of self-loathing.

I learned a valuable lesson through this. Salvation is not merely a way to avoid future punishment. It is an eternal gift that keeps on giving life to those who live for Christ. Some may think receiving this gift is a one-and-done decision and that we don’t need to do anything else.

But that isn’t true. As believers, we must abide in Christ (John 15:4) and strive for unity in the Spirit. Unity is accomplished if we each take responsibility for our spoken words, allowing the Holy Spirit to use His sandpaper as needed: “I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:1, 2).

Guidance and correction

Think about your words. Are they healing or hurtful? Perhaps it is time to write a letter to mend fences, forgive another, or seek forgiveness. Or perhaps a New Year’s resolution requires you to be the letter Paul speaks of in 2 Corinthians 3:3.

As we grow in our Christian walk, we will become more aware of the Holy Spirit’s adjustments, helping us go from glory to glory. By recognizing when a sandpaper moment is needed, we willingly and prayerfully address our character flaws. His sandpaper will smooth out unwholesome words (Ephesians 4:29). Day by day, we will become more Christlike in character, worthy of being known as a child of the King of Kings.

Such daily correction is needed for another reason. God is Judge of all and loves us too much to accept our old ways. Paul therefore says, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad” (2 Corinthians 5:10).

Transformation

Wouldn’t it be unbecoming to hear that beloved characters in the Bible were gossips, foul-mouthed, or complainers?

A Christ follower can’t be double-minded. They can’t be one way serving in the community and another way at home. If this happens, our character and God’s reputation in the ears of a critically attentive world are compromised.

God’s very best for His children is wrapped in one amazing word: transformation. This begins with salvation and continues with spiritual sandpaper from time to time as we grow in Christlikeness. Within this concept, we have our mission and ministry to a rough, splintered, and wayward world.

There is joy in the journey when we are willing to lean into the sandpaper of correction. As we do, our words will reflect God’s transformation, inside and out.