by Jon Drury

My friend Steve’s stepfather liked to say, “My way or the highway!” He had become a father to three boys, ages nine, six, and four, after marrying their mother. Due to alcohol and abuse experienced from his own father, this man ruled with a heavy hand.

 “The worst was when he hit me,” Steve says, “usually with his open hand. When he was angry, he used his fist.” Often Steve received this punishment for small things.

As a result, Steve withdrew into a shell and retreated to a local creek — his favorite place to be alone. Humiliated, he felt terrible about himself.

Have you experienced the smallness of humiliation? It could be shame from work associates who mock you or the impact of abuse. It could be the exposure of your own failure. Whatever the source, humiliation devastates our sense of significance.

Strategic place

As with Steve, the humiliations of life often galled me. I felt low, powerless, and degraded. I didn’t choose such feelings, nor did I see them as launching pads for true significance. I was slow to understand that being humiliated put me in a strategic place, close to the most powerful position a human being can possess.

I began to grasp Bible passages that talked about the place of humility in our lives. I saw my feelings of humiliation as a beginning point to humble myself before God and cling closely to Him. I learned that submission to God, perhaps at the lowest points in life, ushers us into the realm of the greatest power we can know under God.

Place of influence

How can humility be a place of power, when the world says it is a place of powerlessness and shame, only for losers?

Consider what the Lord says about those who have influence with Him:

For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones (Isaiah 57:15).

When the Lord says He chooses the contrite and lowly to dwell with Him, He is defining the person He desires to share intimate communion with. The person who takes this low place of brokenness, confession, and yieldedness can enjoy not only fellowship with God but also a place of influence with Him.

A part of this influence is God hearing the prayer of the humble and working speedily and powerfully to answer their request: “he forgetteth not the cry of the humble” (Psalm 9:12).    

Jacob

Jacob is an example of one who transformed humiliation to humility and gained power and influence with God. As sometimes happens, Jacob’s name also expressed truths about his character. Born a twin, he emerged from the womb in an unusual way: “And after that came his brother out, and his hand took hold on Esau’s heel; and his name was called Jacob: and Isaac was threescore years old when she bare them” (Genesis 25:26).

In his name and character, Jacob was a heel grabber, a supplanter. Later, he deceived his father and cheated his brother of the blessing of the firstborn (27:5-29). He displaced another so that he could have the greater place. In our world, it may be one with an inflated ego who pulls others down so he can move up.

Though Jacob was human in his failings, he believed deeply in the reality of God and His blessing. He was willing to risk everything to receive that blessing from his father.

Jacob traveled to serve his uncle Laban, whom he found to be a greater supplanter and trickster than he was(29:1—31:16). Though seemingly taken into Laban’s house as a son, Jacob was cheated in countless ways.

Why would God humble Jacob, or any of us for that matter? Because we need to see our failures and, humbled, make a new beginning under God.

Challenge and fear

The hostility from Laban and his sons grew,andGod called Jacob to return to Canaan (31:3). But his return meant a difficult challenge: facing his brother, Esau, whose intention toward him was clear:

And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him: and Esau said in his heart, The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob (27:41).

In his return, Jacob feared for his life and so sent a gracious message to Esau, taking a humbled posture. But then Jacob was told his brother was coming with four hundred men (32:6). Remembering Esau’s sworn purpose, Jacob had little doubt that Esau wanted to kill him, his wives, children, and servants. Abject terror gripped Jacob.

Though humiliated by his moment of crisis, Jacob did the right thing: He humbled himself before God in prayer. He pleaded with every fiber of his being for God to deliver. Interesting to note, the Lord had already assured that rescue in the promise Jacob had inherited:

• at Bethel, where the Lord promised to watch over him (28:13-15);
• at the Lord’s call to return to Canaan, in which He promised to be with him (31:3, 11-13);
• at Mahanaim, where the angels of God met him as he journeyed and protected him (32:1, 2).

Despite these repeated assurances, Jacob remained intimidated and pleaded for protection: “for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children” (v. 11, cf. vv. 9-12).

Though he had humbled himself and prayed fervently, Jacob was still filled with dread. In a unique encounter, the Lord chose to depict Jacob’s protection and victory in a wrestling match (v. 24).

The strangest thing about the struggle was that the Lord allowed Himself to be beaten in order to illustrate to Jacob that he was victorious in his urgent request. In the declaration of his victory, the Lord states, “you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome” (v. 28, NIV). 

The Lord not only highlights Jacob’s victory but renames Jacob from supplanter to Israel, a name that means “one who fights with God and prevails.” The wrestling match and name change had immense significance. Jacob was given a vivid picture of the answer to his urgent request, and his very identity and character were transformed in God’s sight.

Power and authority

Like Jacob, God desires that instead of surrendering to the shame of humiliation, we make the switch to be humble before Him, to find a place of true influence and greatness. As with Jacob, this place offers . . .

• power with God. It is the humble person who has fellowship with Him and whose cry and prayer He answers in power.
• power with people. God softened Esau’s heart. When Esau met Jacob, instead of taking violent action, he fell on his neck and kissed him (33:4). God changes people in answer to prayer.
• authority over ourselves. Brokenness and humility bring us to our right place under God’s rule, accepting His discipline and a more careful walk, knowing our feet are made of clay.

New day

Though Steve and his brothers were humiliated by the severe discipline of their stepfather, they endured. Finally, Doug, the youngest boy, ran away and did not return home for a few weeks. When he came back, he was noticeably different, having been led to faith in Christ. Steve saw in his brother the peace and assurance he longed for. He, too, knelt and gave his heart to Christ.

This decision initiated a new sunrise in Steve’s life. He pursued training in construction, became involved in nationwide projects, and married a woman who came from a Christian family. He began to learn the love that Christ can bring to a home.

Like Steve, we can choose Christ and gain a new identity and then serve Him as His humble servants. By doing this, we can change the world for good.

Jon Drury has been published widely in various publications, including Visa Magazine, Decision, Moody Magazine, Pentecostal Evangel, and in book compilations. He lives in Vancouver, WA. Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version, unless otherwise noted.